Here’s What Most Programs Won’t Tell You

Most coaching programs want to teach you leadership. But here’s the thing—they can’t. Leadership isn’t something you’re taught—it’s something you live. It’s the culmination of experiences, challenges, and decisions that shape who you are and how you lead.

I’ll never forget one of the most pivotal moments in my leadership journey. It was years ago, during my time in the Navy. I was 18, fresh out of high school, and I found myself stationed on a ship with guys from every walk of life. One night, we were out at sea, and a fire broke out in one of the engine rooms. Everyone was running, trying to figure out what to do, and in the chaos, I had a moment of clarity. I realized no one was coming to teach me how to respond in that moment—I had to make decisions, fast. I had to rely on my training, yes, but more importantly, I had to rely on my instincts, my values, and my sense of responsibility to the people around me.

That’s when I learned the truth about leadership: it’s lived, not taught.

Sure, you can learn principles and strategies in a classroom. But when the fire hits—whether that’s a literal fire or a crisis in your business or personal life—it’s your lived experience, your ability to make decisions in the moment, and your willingness to step into the unknown that make you a leader.

Here’s what most programs won’t tell you:

• Leadership is about presence. Being fully present in the moment, aware of what’s happening around you, and willing to take action—whether or not you feel fully prepared.
• Leadership is about vulnerability. Great leaders aren’t the ones who have all the answers; they’re the ones who admit when they don’t and seek help or collaboration when needed.
• Leadership is about service. True leadership isn’t about authority—it’s about empowering those around you to step into their own leadership.

So, if you’re looking to become a better leader, don’t look for a program that promises to "teach" you leadership. Look for opportunities to live it. Look for challenges that push you out of your comfort zone. Look for moments where you can serve, learn, and grow.

Because at the end of the day, leadership isn’t taught—it’s lived.

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